Decide on the outcome-
even if you don’t know the steps to get there.
I’m coming up on a year of making a drastic move. To say I was scared shitless would be an euphemism. It was much much worse.
I had this vision in my head of what I wanted for my life and what I wanted for my family. I had faith that we would one day not have to live paycheck to paycheck. I visioned a life free from the bondage and worry of money. To truly be happy. I dreamt of land- lots and lots of land. I dreamt of so much land that it was covered in trees and smelled of orange blossoms. It would echo sounds of life by my children laughing, riding bikes and playing by a creek bed chasing chickens until the sun set. I wanted a life where I didn’t feel drained of all my families resources and hard work. I knew this and so much more. I knew what I wanted. I made that choice. Because If I know anything at all- it’s that you have to have an end goal, a projected outcome, before you can set out for it. Even if that goal takes you until you’re 85 to reach it.
I jumped last year, I fucking leaped! I stepped back and I wound up my feet like the Roadrunner and released. I had a trusting moment. A moment where I let my faith and knowing what I wanted to take me to my next step.
Taking that leap was like deciding to drink an entire bottle of tequila the night before and waking up to yourself in the mirror in the morning- it was ghastly. It hurt in so many ways. But as much as its hurt emotionally to make that leap- I have become closer to my goal. One step down, so many more to go.
No one can ever prepare you for the personal successes or failures you may experience in *your* lifetime- they are unique and catered to you. You could be scared shitless- like I am right now- about when your leap of faith will come to fruition. It’s a scary place to be, this limbo of faith and worry. Hope and defeat. The constant questioning oneself if the leap they made was the right one. No one can ever prepare you for that. But I have my eyes set on my prize, my outcome. Do you?
In my random thoughts for today- I guess in the end, I just want to encourage you to decide on an outcome for your life. It can be anything you have been dreaming about, desired, or visioned. Be strong in your decisions, because once you are, you can figure out the steps you have to take to get you there. I’m not saying it will be easy because if you wanted something easy you can tell yourself you’ve decided to have an outcome of having Taco Bell for lunch. Well Fuck, now you know all you gotta do is drive your ass to Taco Bell. done. easy. –But if it’s a dream worth risking and leaping for, it’s going to take instinctual faith- and a little bit of impulsivity. Because, frankly sometimes you have to bend when the wind blows and sometimes you may feel as though you’ve taken a step back from your outcome- and that’s okay. Don’t allow yourself to be demoralized but in lieu set your eyes on your goal and keep pushing forward. Take the mothafuckin leap.
Life is short, make it sweet.