Tag: encouragement

Frankly My Dear- 2020 isn’t over

Frankly My Dear- 2020 isn’t over

Frick.

I sincerely don’t know where the last two weeks have gone. My days rolled into one another and I feel like it was just the Fourth Of July then I woke up this morning wondering what happened to the days that proceeded. Anyone else? I hope I am not alone in this galactic space travel. At least I didn’t wake up to the year 2050 to discover that I have been a frozen science experiment for an Under Ground Secret Organization that so happened to be linked to letting loose COVID-19 into the human world by a crazed bat that was infected with the virus and was “accidently” released and that I was one of the select few that they had taken for experimentation (because I’m smart of course)… I mean, it could have been worse. *writes down idea for blockbuster movie* Or did they already make that movie? Something about Resident Evil comes to mind….hmmmmm…..

I digress.

2020 was going to be my year. My families year. It was destined to be a breakthrough year of growth and change. It was a “fresh start” in a different state, a different life, and a promising new career. At 36 years old, I had finally felt like I was being an adult.

And then the shit storm happened.

And like the last two weeks, I feel like it was just St. Patrick’s Day and I just woke up and it’s 4 months later. I play back the last 4 months of my life and I can’t help but to think… “what the fuck just happened?”. 2020 was supposed to be my year! 2020 was supposed to be a year of triumphs and celebrations. But, here we are. Knee deep (or elbow deep) into one of the worst years to date. Can it just be the Holidays already? Can we take a vote on this? Christmas in July CAN ACTUALLY BE A THING PEOPLE!

I have had a lot on my plate with this new “normal” bullshit that I wasn’t expecting. And it’s gotten me pretty low. I bet you can relate. I’ve spent a lot of effort into forcing myself be positive, be happy, be grateful, be nice and patient. It’s been hard. I’ve found solace in reading meme’s and laughing about the most absurd things. I’ve found hope in taking risks and letting life happen. I’ve found that I can still make 2020 my bitch. Instead of remembering 2020 as the year that I lost my dream career; that I was pushed to the limits of trying to be a homeschool teacher; that I was irritable and cranky by having all my humans around me 24/7; that I couldn’t qualify for a new home loan; that I was trapped in limbo…
… we don’t have to remember 2020 that way- because frankly my dear, 2020 ain’t over yet!! (Said with ummmphh like Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind *swoooon*) We still have time to make 2020 our bitch and do something amazing, regardless of how the world around us is spinning. I can still reach my goals. I can still set plans and leap for them. I can still crush it!

I want to remember 2020 as the year that I finally bought acreage out in the country for my future home; that I revamped my baking business; that I made it 15 years of marriage; that I became a more patient mom (still working on that one) and that in spite of the uncertainty 2020 brought- I stayed true to being me. I continue to have faith. I continue to push forward. I continue to trust that through the toughest pressure we can grow. It takes courage, a shit ton.

Who the hell knows how the next few months are going to go- and maybe I might just wake up a few months from now in a comatose state with Turkey hanging from my mouth- But I will continue to try to make the best of it all. I mean, can you really go anywhere else but up? And if there is a bigger shit storm coming, I packed my poncho bitch- BRING IT ON!

Life is short, make it sweet!

❤ AM

Words for Wednesday- Taking the Leap

Words for Wednesday- Taking the Leap

Decide on the outcome-
even if you don’t know the steps to get there.

-Tony Robbins

I’m coming up on a year of making a drastic move. To say I was scared shitless would be an euphemism. It was much much worse.

I had this vision in my head of what I wanted for my life and what I wanted for my family. I had faith that we would one day not have to live paycheck to paycheck. I visioned a life free from the bondage and worry of money. To truly be happy. I dreamt of land- lots and lots of land. I dreamt of so much land that it was covered in trees and smelled of orange blossoms. It would echo sounds of life by my children laughing, riding bikes and playing by a creek bed chasing chickens until the sun set. I wanted a life where I didn’t feel drained of all my families resources and hard work. I knew this and so much more. I knew what I wanted. I made that choice. Because If I know anything at all- it’s that you have to have an end goal, a projected outcome, before you can set out for it. Even if that goal takes you until you’re 85 to reach it.

I jumped last year, I fucking leaped! I stepped back and I wound up my feet like the Roadrunner and released. I had a trusting moment. A moment where I let my faith and knowing what I wanted to take me to my next step.

Taking that leap was like deciding to drink an entire bottle of tequila the night before and waking up to yourself in the mirror in the morning-  it was ghastly. It hurt in so many ways. But as much as its hurt emotionally to make that leap- I have become closer to my goal. One step down, so many more to go.

No one can ever prepare you for the personal successes or failures you may experience in *your* lifetime- they are unique and catered to you. You could be scared shitless- like I am right now- about when your leap of faith will come to fruition. It’s a scary place to be, this limbo of faith and worry. Hope and defeat. The constant questioning oneself if the leap they made was the right one. No one can ever prepare you for that.  But I have my eyes set on my prize, my outcome. Do you?

In my random thoughts for today- I guess in the end, I just want to encourage you to decide on an outcome for your life. It can be anything you have been dreaming about, desired, or visioned. Be strong in your decisions, because once you are, you can figure out the steps you have to take to get you there. I’m not saying it will be easy because if you wanted something easy you can tell yourself you’ve decided to have an outcome of having Taco Bell for lunch. Well Fuck, now you know all you gotta do is drive your ass to Taco Bell. done. easy. –But if it’s a dream worth risking and leaping for, it’s going to take instinctual faith- and a little bit of impulsivity. Because, frankly sometimes you have to bend when the wind blows and sometimes you may feel as though you’ve taken a step back from your outcome- and that’s okay. Don’t allow yourself to be demoralized but in lieu set your eyes on your goal and keep pushing forward. Take the mothafuckin leap.

 

Life is short, make it sweet.

❤ AM